Rental Car Heaven

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Tonight, after 9 hours in airports and heavy crosswinds, I discovered myself questioning what to anticipate on the rental car counter whereas ready for my bags at MIA (which stands for Miami Worldwide, not lacking in motion, though Miami-bound baggage typically is). I used to be on a a lot tighter price range than Benjy Bluestone when he met Mr. Kim, proprietor of SOBE Supercar Leases, in my novel Landmark Standing:

Sporting a white form-fitting shirt and windbreaker in 1970 Gulf-Porsche staff colours, Mr. Kim stood behind the counter beneath a white plastic signal with neat pink lettering that mentioned, “SoBe Supercar Rents Quantity One High Massive Shot Luxurious Way of life To Go.” He requested if Benjy was positive he needed a Mustang, as a result of there have been much better vehicles on the lot.

It is uncommon that I lease a car in Miami, and tonight I had no purpose to anticipate a heavenly expertise. We would misplaced ninety minutes to a unfastened panel within the 767 they’d rolled out of an LAX hangar for this “premium” flight. My experience with duct tape was politely refused whereas we milled round like Kremlinologists exterior the Politburo, analyzing the body language of anybody rising from the jetway. Holding a coveted improve, I would then spent hours in flight attempting to take a nap, which required mastering mystifying controls to a seat from the bridge of the Starship Enterprise.

By now its effectively after midnight, and my fellow vacationers are so drained they twitch from ear pain on the buzzer blast signaling the beginning of the luggage-go-round (not like Fort Lauderdale, which presents a light present and canned music that sounds just like the Macarena). Lastly, the legal guidelines of FOLO (first on, final off), carry my suitcase rolling lazily across the bend (I swear it is placing out a cigarette, basking within the afterglow of a mile-high tryst with the Gucci makeup case behind it).

Time to get the car, and in contrast to Benjy, I am within the airport, not some wealthy man’s playpen. Holding a reservation for a Pontiac G6 (or equal), a good trip with good street really feel and a few cojones (for those who luck out and get a V-6), I am totally anticipating I am going to find yourself in a (not so equal) Hundwoo Marmot LSMFT 가루다.

The supervisor greets me as one Miamian to a different, with a sullen, “Can I show you how to?” which barely conceals her fond hope that the reply is “No.” I ask if they’ve a G6. She says nothing. Now I do know I am home. Then she factors to an ATM and tells me to do it myself. After I fumble attempting to reject the elective insurance, child-seat and bucket of buffalo wings, she assures me this gizmo is extra environment friendly than the old system, which it plainly is not when there’s just one buyer.

After which, one thing miraculous occurs. Papers printed, initialed and signed, the supervisor factors exterior and says, “Over there. Decide any car you need.” She merely nods with a drained smirk after I ask, “Actually?” as I stroll backward by the surly gates of rental car heaven.

It is my car lot now, with new V-6 Chevy Malibus the reviewers raved about, and V-6 Pontiacs as effectively (I do know this engine, based mostly on the block that powered my screaming Quotation X-11 twenty-five years in the past, a car feared by all who drove in or close to it).

Striding previous some Toyota Bore-olas, I spy a Dodge Avenger (an SXT, with go-fast bits and an iPod jack). If I need to go inexperienced as a substitute of quick, they have Prius sedans, and, can or not it’s? Certainly one of them is obstructing a gun-metal gray G6 coupe with GT badges.

Jackpot! The highest engine, suspension and tire combo, with black leather-based, sunroof and large audio. It is a shut name, however the Avenger’s out after I see the Pontiac’s received an iPod jack, too. The one drawback is moving the Prius. I am not risking anyone telling me I can not have what I would like, so I transfer it myself. With its bizarre controls, wiggly joystick and push-button starter, I am hoping it would not blow up whereas I look forward to its methods to reply to my instructions, so I can get it the hell out of the way in which.

Ultimately, I am in, and shortly, I am out, earlier than anybody’s the wiser, having fun with that “primary high huge shot luxurious way of life to go,” blasting up the corkscrew to State Street 112, questioning if I am driving a car they do not actually lease, simply take home themselves. However there’s one factor I am positive about. If there is a rental car heaven, it has to appear to be Miami. This I do know. I’ve seen it.